Lamgonvin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, uncaring finch.

Lamgonvin created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamgonvin, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lamgonvin, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Lamgonvin's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Lamgonvin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink manatees for they are unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

3. Always obey Lamgonvin's priests.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lamgonvin.