Bosstikman Cimfobrut is a god.

She takes the form of a large, all-powerful armadillo.

Bosstikman Cimfobrut created the Sun eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bosstikman Cimfobrut, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bosstikman Cimfobrut, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bosstikman Cimfobrut's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bosstikman Cimfobrut's Holy Commandments

1. Bosstikman Cimfobrut loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bosstikman Cimfobrut.

3. Do not keep eight hamsters in a large pit.

4. Never talk about goats.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.