Jatpopjad is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, moody porpoise.

Jatpopjad created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatpopjad, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jatpopjad, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Jatpopjad's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Jatpopjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear tights.

2. Jatpopjad must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.