Fomnibmis is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, calm finch.

Fomnibmis created a strange quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fomnibmis, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Fomnibmis, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fomnibmis' most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Fomnibmis' Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Never feed lots of wheat to manatees while wearing fawn shirts.

4. You must never eat lentils.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.