Yamsawpit is a god.

He takes the form of a large, boastful chicken.

Yamsawpit created dark matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamsawpit, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yamsawpit, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Yamsawpit's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Yamsawpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yamsawpit.