Shavmithim Fetfagkab is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, astonishing owl.

Shavmithim Fetfagkab created the universe two years ago.

If you believe in Shavmithim Fetfagkab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Shavmithim Fetfagkab, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Shavmithim Fetfagkab's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Shavmithim Fetfagkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Shavmithim Fetfagkab on top of all buildings.

4. Retreat if five shrews approach from the west.

5. Never paint your hands orange.