Ditrotgen is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, effective duck.

Ditrotgen created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Ditrotgen, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ditrotgen, she will turn you into a slug.

Ditrotgen's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Ditrotgen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never feed beans to gulls while wearing pink rings.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never write about bacteria.