Artnurmin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, able duck.

Artnurmin created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Artnurmin, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Artnurmin, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Artnurmin's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Artnurmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cucumbers.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near voles while wearing pink stockings and balancing seven silicon spheres on your arms.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.