Lamtonksas is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, benevolent armadillo.

Lamtonksas created the Andromeda Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Lamtonksas, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lamtonksas, she will turn you into a rat.

Lamtonksas' most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Lamtonksas' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Lamtonksas.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never write about enzymes.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never talk about nebulae.