Gemstikhamtun is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, witless wasp.

Gemstikhamtun created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemstikhamtun, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gemstikhamtun, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gemstikhamtun's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Gemstikhamtun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gemstikhamtun.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never eat lemons.