Nulbastquat is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, astonishing narwhal.

Nulbastquat created the Sun four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulbastquat, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nulbastquat, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Nulbastquat's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Nulbastquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Run away from magenta hamsters, for they are unholy.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always help moths.

5. Nulbastquat loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.