Kaphascan Ruttlaglarnben is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, competent goat.

Kaphascan Ruttlaglarnben created time and space seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kaphascan Ruttlaglarnben, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kaphascan Ruttlaglarnben, he will curse you with boils.

Kaphascan Ruttlaglarnben's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Kaphascan Ruttlaglarnben's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Kaphascan Ruttlaglarnben's priests.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never sit in the presence of doves.

5. Never think ill of sick ants.