Hivqueegsognadvil is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, witless raven.

Hivqueegsognadvil created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivqueegsognadvil, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hivqueegsognadvil, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hivqueegsognadvil's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Hivqueegsognadvil's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Hivqueegsognadvil.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Run away from mauve birds, for they are unholy.