Cannurlkam is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, uncaring giraffe.

Cannurlkam created the Milkyway three million years ago.

If you believe in Cannurlkam, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cannurlkam, she will ignore you.

Cannurlkam's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Cannurlkam's Holy Commandments

1. Put Cannurlkam first in all things.

2. Run away if nine mice approach from the north.

3. Worship no other gods but Cannurlkam.

4. Never talk about optics near great tits while wearing violet rings and balancing eight zinc spheres on your neck.

5. Never think about solid mechanics.