Nurvedfudtarphit is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, moody jaguar.

Nurvedfudtarphit created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Nurvedfudtarphit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nurvedfudtarphit, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nurvedfudtarphit's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Nurvedfudtarphit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Learn four new languages a year.