Tifgovnur is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, humorless meerkat.

Tifgovnur created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifgovnur, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tifgovnur, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tifgovnur's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Tifgovnur's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear rings.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Ducks are not to be trusted.

4. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.