Fubjanyim is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, moody snail.

Fubjanyim created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubjanyim, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fubjanyim, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Fubjanyim's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Fubjanyim's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Always help frogs.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near moths while wearing fawn rings and balancing eight nickel spheres on your head.