Dibcitflab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, awe-inspiring pig.

Dibcitflab created bats nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibcitflab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dibcitflab, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Dibcitflab's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Dibcitflab's Holy Commandments

1. Put Dibcitflab first in all things.

2. Birds are not to be trusted.

3. Always help moths.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never look at nebulae.