Tonsakven is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, humane weasel.

Tonsakven created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Tonsakven, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tonsakven, he will turn you into a hamster.

Tonsakven's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Tonsakven's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think about eukaryotes.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not take Tonsakven's name in vain.

5. Never think about stars.
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