Cubrutxin is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, humane cat.

Cubrutxin created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubrutxin, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cubrutxin, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Cubrutxin's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Cubrutxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near tortoises while wearing purple scarves.

2. Do not kill dogs.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always help mites.

5. Learn six new languages a year.