Fentonkjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, effective bear.

Fentonkjarn created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fentonkjarn, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fentonkjarn, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fentonkjarn's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Fentonkjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never paint your chest cyan.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never laugh in holy places.