Somsaknulcibbadtincar is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, omniscient rhinoceros.

Somsaknulcibbadtincar created parasitic wasps three billion years ago.

If you believe in Somsaknulcibbadtincar, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Somsaknulcibbadtincar, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Somsaknulcibbadtincar's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Somsaknulcibbadtincar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not trade with those who eat figs.