Davgancib Abappcim is a god.

She takes the form of a small, weak seal.

Davgancib Abappcim created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Davgancib Abappcim, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Davgancib Abappcim, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Davgancib Abappcim's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Davgancib Abappcim's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Erect seven aluminium sculptures of Davgancib Abappcim on top of important buildings.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

4. Do not keep nine manatees in a large pit.

5. Never pour water over plants.