Butkarmif Wadquatlist is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, resourceful horse.

Butkarmif Wadquatlist created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Butkarmif Wadquatlist, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Butkarmif Wadquatlist, she will turn you into a mouse.

Butkarmif Wadquatlist's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Butkarmif Wadquatlist's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lentils.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Butkarmif Wadquatlist on top of all buildings.

3. Put Butkarmif Wadquatlist first in all things.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near otters while wearing fawn trousers and balancing six lead spheres on your chest.