Tailvenban is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, benevolent aardvark.

Tailvenban created tapeworms six million years ago.

If you believe in Tailvenban, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tailvenban, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tailvenban's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Tailvenban's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mice.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never paint your legs mauve.

5. Never wear blue stockings.