Yarptaillab is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, vain naga.

Yarptaillab created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarptaillab, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarptaillab, it will turn you into a puffin.

Yarptaillab's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Yarptaillab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peanuts.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always treat geese with great respect.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.