Lannillvad is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, vain cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Lannillvad created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lannillvad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lannillvad, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Lannillvad's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Lannillvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. You must pray to Lannillvad five times a day.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Do not eat apples.