Haklakpakmegbomrap is a god.
He takes the form of an exceedingly large, omniscient
squid.
Haklakpakmegbomrap created the universe four thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Haklakpakmegbomrap, he will give you the power of flight.
If you do not believe in
Haklakpakmegbomrap, he will turn you into a frog.
Haklakpakmegbomrap's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.
Haklakpakmegbomrap's Holy Commandments1. Never write about bacteria.
2. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.
3. Haklakpakmegbomrap must be the most important thing in your life.
4. Do not drink alcohol.
5. Never wear ear rings.