Vadvanbast is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, wise armadillo.

Vadvanbast created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vadvanbast, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vadvanbast, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vadvanbast's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Vadvanbast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never think ill of sick geese.

3. Never laugh in the presence of shrews.

4. Vadvanbast must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never feed onions to sheep while wearing tights.