Flapnarlcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, benevolent human.

Flapnarlcuss created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapnarlcuss, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Flapnarlcuss, he will turn you into a mole.

Flapnarlcuss' most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Flapnarlcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not speak about pineapples.

5. Learn six new languages a year.