Cab is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witty jaguar.

Cab created the planet Earth seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cab, he will send you a sign.

Cab's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Cab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about electromagnetism.