Tig is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonourable porpoise.

Tig created gold six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tig, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tig's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Tig's Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always help swans in need.

4. Run away from brown snails, for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.