Fonnig is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, stupid unicorn.

Fonnig created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonnig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fonnig, it will turn you into a sheep.

Fonnig's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Fonnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven foxes in a large pit.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fonnig.

4. Never think about dark energy near whales while wearing violet rings and balancing three carbon spheres on your neck.

5. Never pour water over plants.