Vagzakbed is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, cheerful owl.

Vagzakbed created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagzakbed, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vagzakbed, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Vagzakbed's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Vagzakbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to foxes while wearing ear rings.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Vagzakbed loves mites, so they must be honoured.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always look after injured sheep.