Midfasflap is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonourable goose.

Midfasflap created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midfasflap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Midfasflap, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Midfasflap's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Midfasflap's Holy Commandments

1. Midfasflap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near shrews while wearing green tights and balancing three nickel spheres on your neck.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Midfasflap in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never laugh near dogs.