Buggepsag Bestbudspag is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, grumpy shark.

Buggepsag Bestbudspag created gold three million years ago.

If you believe in Buggepsag Bestbudspag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Buggepsag Bestbudspag, he will turn you into a sheep.

Buggepsag Bestbudspag's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Buggepsag Bestbudspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Buggepsag Bestbudspag in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. You must never eat melons.