Hadquillrakstrag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest meerkat.

Hadquillrakstrag created gold three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadquillrakstrag, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hadquillrakstrag, he will turn you into a dog.

Hadquillrakstrag's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Hadquillrakstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never wear pink jumpers.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never hurt mites.