Botcapteengesszog is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, self-confident hamster.

Botcapteengesszog created the Milkyway four million years ago.

If you believe in Botcapteengesszog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Botcapteengesszog, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Botcapteengesszog's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Botcapteengesszog's Holy Commandments

1. Botcapteengesszog loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Botcapteengesszog.

3. Hide if five aardvarks approach from the south.

4. Never feed limes to whales while wearing cyan corsets.

5. Never talk about moths.