Jantofxem is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, emotional snail.

Jantofxem created the planet Jupiter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jantofxem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jantofxem, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Jantofxem's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Jantofxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt badgers.

2. Feed all hungry tortoises.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.