Gonlenab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, compassionate ferret.

Gonlenab created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Gonlenab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gonlenab, he will be very unhappy.

Gonlenab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gonlenab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three turtles in a large pit.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Feed all hungry great tits.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Gonlenab on top of all buildings.