Cubnelquim is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, compassionate wren.

Cubnelquim created a charm quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cubnelquim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cubnelquim, he will torture you forever.

Cubnelquim's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Cubnelquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cubnelquim.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Cubnelquim must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never write about optics.