Dagpakbed is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, merciless snake.

Dagpakbed created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagpakbed, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dagpakbed, he will throw large rocks at you.

Dagpakbed's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Dagpakbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

3. You must pray to Dagpakbed nine times a day.

4. Do not take Dagpakbed's name in vain.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.