Witfedmis is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish naga.

Witfedmis created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witfedmis, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Witfedmis, she will refuse to believe in you.

Witfedmis' most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Witfedmis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Witfedmis loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

5. Learn five new languages a year.