Ligzagtonkxemfadyokmig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, impressive aardvark.

Ligzagtonkxemfadyokmig created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ligzagtonkxemfadyokmig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ligzagtonkxemfadyokmig, he will strike you with lightening.

Ligzagtonkxemfadyokmig's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Ligzagtonkxemfadyokmig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear black clothing.

2. Ligzagtonkxemfadyokmig must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

5. Always take life seriously.