Tarptaprot is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witless lizard.

Tarptaprot created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarptaprot, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tarptaprot, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tarptaprot's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Tarptaprot's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four copper sculptures of Tarptaprot on top of important buildings.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Tarptaprot in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always treat shrews with great respect.

4. Always wear violet.

5. Always help sick mites.