Bastgubzen is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, duplicitous bird.

Bastgubzen created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastgubzen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bastgubzen, she will try to impress you with trees.

Bastgubzen's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bastgubzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bastgubzen.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Do not eat lemons.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.