Dunkenbap is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating wren.

Dunkenbap created bats nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunkenbap, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dunkenbap, it will throw large rocks at you.

Dunkenbap's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Dunkenbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not dye your hair purple.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink alcohol.