Damjankapbest is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unselfish horse.

Damjankapbest created the planet Earth six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damjankapbest, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Damjankapbest, he will turn you into a puffin.

Damjankapbest's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Damjankapbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick swans.

2. Do not hurt grasshopers.

3. You must never eat lentils.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

5. Never talk about fire.