Tanmadkim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, confident octopus.

Tanmadkim created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tanmadkim, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tanmadkim, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tanmadkim's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Tanmadkim's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tanmadkim.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tanmadkim.