Tag is a god.

It takes the form of a large, smart fly.

Tag created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Tag, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tag, it will not invite you to parties.

Tag's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Tag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn corsets.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never feed figs to grasshopers while wearing kilts.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Hide from turquoise birds for they are unholy.